Cinema Critique: JankyWood

In 2009, a film called The Janky Promoters was released to the public, much like the way that a case of athletes foot is introduced to a locker room.
Now before you dash out to your local RedBox, here’s three major red-flags the film has:

a). it was written by Ice Cube.
b). one of the “stars” is the supremely unfunny Mike Epps.
c). the title of the movie is The Janky Promoters.

The movie kept it shitty from the jump – check out the box office numbers for THE JANKY PROMOTERS:

Opening Weekend: $5,702 (USA) (18 October 2009) (22 Screens)
**That’s $260 per theater! To put it in perspective, on a slow weekend I make $261 a night just selling used Dasani bottles full of bathroom tap water in the hallway of the movie theater.

Newsflash: It’s a gawd-awful movie believe it or not. Ice Cube and Epps play concert promoters trying to pull off a Young Jeezy show in their hometown.

Their style? I’d call it Janky.

PS: To all you white people out there wondering what janky means, I can sum it up by saying “below average quality.” (It can be safely substituted for “trashy.”)

EXAMPLE: I drive up to meet my friends LT and Steve, in my broken-down car.

LT
“Oh sh*t! Look at this man’s car… that sh*t is janky as hell.”

STEVE
“Look at the duct tape!!”

As bad as the movie is, it seems that any creative juices Cube had apparently dried up when it came time to name the movie.

It’d be like if you wrote Dazed & Confused then couldn’t think of a good title so you just called it “White Folks High School.”

For Epps, Janky Promoters is another in a long, long line of terrible movies.

The guy is shaping up to be one of the most un-funny “comedians” of all time.

Don’t believe me?

Try and step to this hit-list:

* Both he and Cube were responsible for attempting to murder the genius of Friday by birthing Next Friday and Friday after Next. AWFUL.

* Next Day Air: Similar formula as the Next Friday/Janky Promoters. Two loveable and stoned idiots try to get rich while not getting murdered or thrown in jail. It’s basically the same movie except that in Next Day Air, the main characters are deliverymen instead of concert promoters.

* Epps was in Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins (which for some, reason, has, a, comma, in, the, title).addtext_com_MjMwODExMTQyMjU0

* Mike Epps must have a thing for projects with terribly simple titles. He was in a short-lived TV show called The Unsuccessful Thug.

 

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